The Grizzlies Draft

Now that the draft is in the rear view mirror
The whole darn thing might be a little clearer.

We needed defense foremost and first
Because last season ours was the very worst.

We drafted this guy named Hasheem Thabeet;
And we hope he can turn up the defensive heat.

He'll defend the paint,that's what they say
So those penetrating guards will stay away.

And when their big guys get the ball like it or not
There will be Thabeet to  make them alter their shot.

I wanted Rickey Rubio but after one quick glance
The kid from Spain never had a chance.

So we got Thabeet and two other guys
Ah, but here is a word to the wise.

The Grizzlies are under some sort of voodoo curse
We always hope for the best but expect the worse.

Memphis and the NCAA

The Tiger`s went to Indy at the NCAA's behest
To talk about Derrick Rose's ACT test.

The charge was,and they said they could book it
That it wasn't DRose who actually took it.

The Memphis defense was simple I'd have to say
We didn't move until you until you cleared him to play.

So we can't figure out why all the fuss
And why of all people are you blaming us?

So I say the NCAA is out of control
And they can't touch us with a 10 foot pole.

Now, no one knows what the future often brings
Because the Robert Dozier caper is waiting in the wings.

That will be a tough nut to crack
And the Tigers just might pick up some flack.

So if worse comes to worse and they turn up the heat
We could always say-do you think Coach Cal would actually cheat?

He left UMass on probation and some folks fear
He may do the same darn thing right here.

Now, some may say this is wishful thinking
But I say the Tigers ship isn't sinking.

So hang in there you guys and I'll make you a bet
With Coach Josh in control you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Dreamers, Thinkers, Doers

Some Tiger Fans Are Dreamers:
That we will faithfully follow all the rules
And set an example for other schools.

And if a kid is too dumb to pass the test
He will not participate in our championship quest.

Some Tiger Fans Are Thinkers:
They think that a championship should be able stand the glare
And only be won honestly you know-fair and square.

And if they take away our spot in the Final 4
Sadly it will just be one more.

Some Tiger Fans Are Doers:
Lets do one thing they want you to hear
No more renting a kid for just one year.

Lets do it right in the many,many ways
But absolutely no reprise of the Moe Iba days.

And if worse comes to worse and we pay the price
We'll be the only one's kicked out of the Final 4 twice.

The Mess at the University of Memphis

I really dislike how all of this looks
I'm sure we're perceived as a bunch of crooks.

I don't hate Calipari but I will discuss
I do hate what he has done to us.

Now he'll testify-they'll put his feet to the fire
But who will believe such an accomplished liar.

When R.C. hired him he gave Cal a pass
Because he knew how he cheated while at UMass.

So R.C's hands aren't clean,he's not simon pure
And he should share the blame that's for sure.

Meanwhile I hope Coach Pastner doesn't feel under the gun
Though he may be thinking-what in the world have I done.

A Cheat Is A Cheat

Derrick Rose and Coach Cal are two of a kind
Because following the rules never entered their mind.

Instead of doing things right as they ought
They schemed how to cheat and not get caught.

Rose knew he could not pass the ACT
So Cal might have said-that's OK just follow me.

Someone else will take the test,that's what we'll do
But we'll tell them all that it was really you.

So now we'll get all our ducks in a row
And I promise you no one will ever know.

Sure it's crooked, unethical and lacks a lot of class
But we used to do it all the time when I was at UMass.

We even made the final 4- that's what it's all about
But when they caught us cheating they threw us out.

If Memphis is disqualifIed everyone will know
That I'm now on the hook for two in a row.

At Kentucky to be honest I gotta confess
Cheating? Hey they could not possibly  care less.

I did leave Memphis in the lurch but that's just fine
Because it's their problem now,it sure isn't mine.

Back here in Memphis-and this is on the level
Coach Cal and Kentucky can go straight to the Devil.

Coach Cal - A Crook?

Coach Cal has left Memphis but all I can say
He may be gone but he won't go away.

During his tenure here-so the story goes
He had someone take the ACT for Derrick Rose.

Now, that's against the rules of the NCAA
And it's possible the Tigers will have to pay.

Rose may have been too dumb to pass the test
But his basketball IQ was among the best.

So he was admitted and no one knew,
R.C. said he didn't have a clue.

He did say they will investigate to see what they can glean,
He said we want to be thought of as squeaky clean.

Cheating on a test is certainly not a crime
But just another example of corruption and slime.

Cal will be at home in Kentucky because there's a report
That breaking NCAA rules is a varsity sport.

Looking back at the confusion and certainly the fuss
At least R.C. didn't say -I'm shocked- and that's a plus.

I've Changed My Mind - Again

Grizzlies fans are curious they want to know who
The team will draft with pick # 2.

Ricky Rubio  seems to be the most popular selection
But,after thinking it over,I'd take a different direction.

Rubio plays the point and unless I'm mistaken.
That spot on the Grizzlies is already taken.

So if we trade him for a proven 4
We could put a heck of  a team on the floor.

Mike Conley is my choice at the point, a real go getter
And he ain't gonna get nothing but better.

So let's get a big guy and you wanna know what,
I think that we could go out and kick some butt.

But if they do take Rubio and he doesn't even start,
They'll say-There goes Eaton-isn't he smart.

But if they do draft the kid and he turns the team around
I'll say-I'm glad I was wrong and I like that sound.

So after all the speculation I'll just say this.
No matter who we take-there's no way we can miss.

The NBA Draft-Hallelujah

When I used to watch the draft it would make me mad
Because I figured it was fixed and we'd been had..

I yearned for that one big solid lick
And we would get that # 1 pick.

I dreamed of a super stud-I can still see some names
There was Kobe,and Magic and of course Lebron James.

But I've changed my mind-no we didn't  get #1
But we did get #2 and that should be fun.

I have no idea who we'll take but this I will say
I want someone so big they'll get out of his way.

So,as they say, the ball is now in the Grizzlies court
And next year at this time I hope to report;

We won't be in the lottery and we can boast
We're now in the play-offs-Great Caesar's Ghost.

Rachel Alexandra- Queen of the Preakness

Rachel Alexandra has a spot in horse racing lore
She has gone where few fillies have gone before.

She won the second jewel in racing's triple crown
She took on the boys and beat 'em hands down.

She grabbed the lead as they left the gate
And right there the filly seemed to state'

You guys can run, but I have to trust
You won't mind at all eating my dust.

The Derby winner gave it a shot but I'm here to report
Mine That Bird came close but was one length short.

Now the question is this for Heaven's sakes
Can she do it again in the Belmont Stakes.

They'll make up their mind whether or not to run
Meanwhile Rachel A. is having too much fun.

If she does make the race all I can say
At the Belmont Stakes it'll be Ladies Day.

Buccos Win - Pirates 7 Cardinals 1

To long time Pirates fans it's not really news
When we play the Cardinals we usually lose.

And with 8 tough losses all in a row
There wasn't much doubt how the game would go.

But we won the thing and it was no fluke
We got great pitching from lefty Zach Duke.

He mixed his fast ball with good breaking stuff
While the Bucco hitters scored more than enough.

He would have had a shutout but I'm a son-of-a-gun,
He hung a slider to Pujols and he hit a home run.

We won the game but I'm worried just a tad
Because I'm afraid we made the Cardinals mad.

And tomorrow night we could be in a serious bind
They'll be a  ticked off bunch with revenge on their mind.

We'll worry about that later, right now it's go Pirates go
Yeah we have a winning streak-one in a row.